Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Ethics? It's a Suggestion.
Original: How the Trump administration has undermined the fight against public corruption
NPR Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Hope and a $600 Bill
Original: The Trump phone starts shipping this week, CEO claims
The Verge 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Luxury Vomit Barge: Europe Live.
Original: More than 1,700 confined on cruise ship in Bordeaux after suspected norovirus death – Europe live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Another Politician Quits. Surprise.
Original: Streeting’s allies say he’s preparing to resign and launch leadership challenge as early as tomorrow – UK politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Golden Years, Gilded Pool.
Original: ‘I’m not an extravagant spender’: I’m in my 70s with a $90,000 income. Can I afford my dream home with a pool?
MarketWatch 1h ago
Putin's Courtesy: Now Accepting Bribes.
Original: Putin addresses Zelensky as ‘mister’ for the first time. Morgan Stanley says it means a vibe shift in peace negotiations.
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Lord of the Algorithm
Original: Peter Jackson Talks AI Filmmaking in Cannes: “It’s Just a Tool Like Any Other”
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories