Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Priorities, Really.
Original: WATCH: 'I don't think about Americans' financial situation' when negotiating with Iran, Trump says
PBS NewsHour Politics 1h ago
Democracy: Still a Suggestion.
Original: Trump's redistricting push falters in South Carolina Senate but notches a win in Missouri's top court
PBS NewsHour Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Congress: Where Sobriety Goes to Die.
Original: FBI chief Kash Patel spars with top Democrat over allegations of excessive drinking on the job – US politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Trauma Bonding, Apparently.
Original: Macaulay Culkin Says He Has “Unfinished Business” With ‘Home Alone’ Mother Catherine O’Hara
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories