Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Lawnmower Admits to Crime.
Original: Yarbo says it will remove the intentional backdoor from its robot lawn mower
The Verge 3h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Diplomacy's Dead. Everyone's Bombing. Shocker.
Original: Middle East crisis live: Trump rejects Iran’s response to US peace deal; UN urges ‘genuine ceasefire’ as Israel intensifies Lebanon strikes
The Guardian World 1h ago
Justice? They're asking nicely.
Original: Virginia Democrats ask conservative-majority US supreme court to restore congressional map approved by voters – live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories