Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 AM UTC

Monday, May 11, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Peace Offer Rejected: Surprise.
Original: Trump calls Iran’s response to peace plan ‘unacceptable’ as ceasefire is tested
Washington Post Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Labour's a Game, Darling.
Original: Starmer faces fight to survive as Streeting and Rayner eye leadership bids
The Guardian World 3h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

War is Bad, But Dividends Are Nice.
Original: U.S. stock futures fall, oil surges as Trump calls Iran’s latest offer to end war ‘totally unacceptable’
MarketWatch 1h ago
Generosity Has Consequences.
Original: My niece is on Social Security Disability Insurance. Will she lose her health insurance if I buy her a house?
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Another Celebrity Memoir. Groundbreaking.
Original: Rita Wilson on Her ‘Sound of a Woman’ Album, Growing Up a Music Lover in L.A. and the Advice From Nora Ephron and Bruce Springsteen That Kickstarted Her Second Act
Variety 5h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories