Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 PM UTC

Saturday, May 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

God, Country, and Fewer Laws.
Original: Rejecting church and state separation is on the wish list for Trump's religious liberty commission
ABC News Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Generosity Has a Price, Apparently.
Original: My niece is on Social Security Disability Insurance. Will she lose her health insurance if I buy her a house?
MarketWatch 1h ago
Escape Reality. Pay For It.
Original: What To Watch This Weekend: New Shows And Movies To Stream On Netflix, Hulu, Prime Video, Apple TV And More
Forbes Business 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Genius Demands Explanation of Sunset.
Original: Jake Shane Slammed Online for Asking Kacey Musgraves to Explain Time Zone Lyric: ‘Literally Just Means What it Means’
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories