Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 AM UTC

Saturday, May 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Democracy: Now With Extra Steps.
Original: Virginia's Supreme Court tosses voter-approved redistricting plan in blow to Democrats
PBS NewsHour Politics 8h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Paradise Lost, Now With Rain.
Original: Evacuation of hantavirus-stricken cruise ship could face delays due to bad weather
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories