Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 PM UTC

Friday, May 8, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Iran Flexes, World Yawns.
Original: Middle East crisis live: Iranians ‘never bow to pressure’, says foreign minister after clashes in the strait of Hormuz
The Guardian World 5h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Another Record. Surprise Nobody.
Original: This new target for the S&P 500 is very nearly Wall Street’s highest. Here are the trades to make.
MarketWatch 5h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories