Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 PM UTC

Thursday, May 7, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Future Plans Now a Liability.
Original: As Marcomentum sweeps the internet, Rubio, White House swear off 2028 talk
Washington Post Politics 2h ago
War Feels Productive.
Original: U.S. launches strikes on Iran after attacks on warships, military says
Washington Post Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Syria Trip Souvenirs: Now a Felony.
Original: Australia news live: two Victorian women charged with crimes against humanity offences after return from Syria
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories