Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, May 6, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Meritocracy: UCLA Edition.
Original: Justice Dept. finds UCLA medical school illegally used race in admissions
ABC News Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Gold Bottom? Sure, Jan.
Original: This gold-timing indicator just hit a bottom — and history says a strong rally is next
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories

Role Model Behavior.
Original: Neymar apologises for slapping teenager Robinho Jr
BBC Sport 3h ago