Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Trump Still Exists: Shocking.
Original: Primary elections in Ohio, Indiana offer latest temperature check on Trump popularity
NPR Politics 20h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Apologies declared, crisis averted?
Original: Starmer calls antisemitism ‘crisis for all of us’ ahead of Downing Street summit – UK politics live
The Guardian World 19h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Trauma Consultants Now Get Acting Credits.
Original: ‘Believe Me’: ‘Slow Horses,’ ‘Line of Duty’ Stars on the Key Role an Intimacy Coordinator Played on ITV’s “Black Cab Rapist” Victims Drama
Hollywood Reporter 21h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories