Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 PM UTC

Saturday, October 17, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

King Me.
Original: Trump touts his power at Kentucky rally to energize voters ahead of midterm elections
ABC News Politics 25m ago
God's Plan to Keep Him Employed.
Original: House Speaker Mike Johnson draws on faith as he fights to hold the Republican majority
PBS NewsHour Politics 5h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Data's Getting Sweeter.
Original: Meta removes language that raised scraping and AI training concerns
TechCrunch 41m ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Servants Now, Soulmates Later.
Original: Can a $55,000 robot load the dishwasher? Inside my afternoon with two humanoid housekeepers.
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Texts Reveal: Loyalty's a Performance Review.
Original: Paul Bettany Says He and Johnny Depp ‘Hadn’t Spoken’ in Years When Their Texts Were Read During Libel Trial: ‘I Was Being Painted As This Close Friend’
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories