Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 PM UTC

Friday, October 16, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

David's got deep pockets now.
Original: Talarico compares his campaign to David and Goliath after GOP invests over $158M against him
PBS NewsHour Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Europe Briefly Exists.
Original: Von der Leyen and Costa brief the media after two day EU summit – Europe live
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Gonna Die With Options.
Original: Are we spending our retirement money in the right order? Our plan is: Social Security, annuities, cash — then IRA.
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories