Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 AM UTC

Friday, October 16, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Denial’s a Policy, Apparently.
Original: Greens leader denies knowledge of ‘secret dossier’ on how to handle Jordon Steele-John misconduct allegations
The Guardian World 1h ago
Kids are Expendable, Apparently.
Original: Elizabeth Struhs’ child protection case not ‘prioritised’ due to high workload, inquest hears
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Human Composers Fear AI: Novel Concept.
Original: ‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Composer and More Speak Out About AI at Ghent’s WSA Film Music Days: ‘We Must Continue to Defend Our Art’
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories