Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, October 14, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Bank of America: Still Banking.
Original: U.S. hits Bank of America with $1.2 billion fine, saying it violated money laundering and sanctions laws
PBS NewsHour Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Voter Fraud: A Convenient Distraction.
Original: DoJ threatens California over alleged noncitizen voting as Trump tries to rally support for Republicans – US politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Comic Relief for a Nation at War.
Original: Burnham tells Zelenskyy’s UK’s support for Ukraine ‘will not change’ – UK politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Love Hurts. Also, Your Wallet.
Original: Romance Scams Have Cost Americans Billions—This Journalist Went Undercover To Expose Them
Forbes Business 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories

Baseball’s Hopeful? Please.
Original: 'In his words, he's ready to go': Can Shohei Ohtani break his slump before it's too late?
ESPN 1h ago