Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 3:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, October 13, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Greece Gets a Free Pass.
Original: White House says it has asked Kimberly Guilfoyle to resign as US ambassador to Greece – live
The Guardian World 33m ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Four Million, Zero Peace.
Original: My wife says we can’t afford to retire, yet she wants to take an $8,000 trip to Italy. We have $4 million. Do I keep working?
MarketWatch 43m ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Peak TV.
Original: ‘SNL’ Sets Druski as First Online Content Creator to Host
Variety 27m ago

Sports ★ 5 stories

Reality Bites, Red Devils.
Original: Man United fans must accept reality, which is both better and worse than they think
ESPN 56m ago