Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 AM UTC

Monday, October 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Rome wasn't built in a day, or a hanging.
Original: Australian politics live: Joyce likens US public execution to ‘Roman amphitheatre’; Taylor says Labor ‘waging war’ against small business
The Guardian World 5h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Zombies Beat Justice. Shocking.
Original: China Box Office: ‘Resident Evil’ Dethrones ‘Traces of Justice’ to Claim Top Spot as Post-Holiday Market Cools
Variety 5h ago
Cinema's Over. Give Us Reality TV.
Original: ‘The Riverbank,’ ‘Elza’ Top Rio Film Festival Awards as ‘On Behalf of My Son,’ ‘The French Teacher’ and ‘London’ Scoop Key Prizes
Variety 6h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories