Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 7:00 AM UTC

Thursday, October 8, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

God Hates Football.
Original: Hurricane Isaias could impact Georgia-Alabama game with Trump set to attend
ABC News Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Awards for Stories That Won’t Save You.
Original: Vancouver Film Festival Prizes: Big Wins for Immigrant Tale ‘Nina Roza,’ the ‘Polished Cinematic’ ‘In the Heart of the South’ and Separated Sisters Story ‘How We Stand’
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories