Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, October 7, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Paper Gains? Sure, Jan.
Original: These two hard-hit stocks are poised for a comeback, says fund manager
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Capitalism’s Greatest Hits, Now on Sale.
Original: Prime Day Blu-ray Deals Include 50% Discounts on Dozens of Films and Boxed Sets: ‘Boogie Nights, ‘Pulp Fiction,’ ‘The Sopranos’ and More
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories