Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 PM UTC

Monday, October 5, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Legacy Points Still Count.
Original: Barack Obama to campaign with El-Sayed in Michigan race’s final stretch
Washington Post Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Skin Deep Learning.
Original: This startup is issuing AI-generated acne prescriptions
The Verge 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Gravity: Still Works.
Original: London to Chicago BA flight declares emergency after dropping 28,000 feet
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories