Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 AM UTC

Sunday, October 4, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

God Warns Against Fun.
Original: Mormon leader decries explosion in sports betting, prediction markets
ABC News Politics 7h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Patriotism Tastes Like Grape and Regret.
Original: Pete Hegseth Chugs ‘Spider-Man’s Non-Alcoholic B—- Beer’ in ‘SNL’ Cold Open That Mocks Tom Holland, Mitch McConnell and JD Vance
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories

Roof Knows Best.
Original: Brewers escape Game 1 after roof-aided out ends Padres' hopes
ESPN 3m ago