Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 7:00 AM UTC

Friday, September 25, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Diplomacy: Now With Extra Toast.
Original: US and China must act as responsible powers together, Xi says as Trump toasts friendship at state dinner
BBC World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Selling Out, Still Fun.
Original: The All-American Rejects On Touring, Creating As Independent Artists
Forbes Business 6h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories