Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 PM UTC

Monday, September 21, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

AI Butler Needs a Bailout.
Original: Muse, Meta's extraordinarily privileged AI assistant, has a serious 0-day
Ars Technica 1h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Estate Planning? Bless Your Heart.
Original: My husband and I are in our 50s and have no kids. We have $2 million in IRAs and 401(k)s. Do we really need a will?
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Cruise Urges Us To Keep Pretending.
Original: Tom Cruise Says AI Is ‘Coming and It’s Going to Happen,’ but ‘People Want to See Real Things’: ‘Keep Creating’
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories