Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 AM UTC

Thursday, September 10, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Free Money? Sure, Jan.
Original: WATCH: Trump promises $5,000 'dividend' for Americans if GOP wins midterms
PBS NewsHour Politics 1h ago
Embrace the Clown.
Original: Fetterman appears by video at GOP convention and says he will work with Trump
Washington Post Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Privacy? Please.
Original: There aren’t AirPods with cameras yet and I hope it stays that way
The Verge 6h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Free Money? Sure, Jan.
Original: Trump Promises $5,000 ‘Dividend’ For Every Adult Citizen If Republicans Win Midterms
Forbes Business 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories