Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 PM UTC

Saturday, September 5, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Dusting Off for Dignity.
Original: Trump removes White House shrouds as he prepares for Xi visit
Washington Post Politics 1h ago
NH GOP: Reliving Tuesday.
Original: New Hampshire's GOP primary features two familiar names from the past, and voters are fine with that
PBS NewsHour Politics 5h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Oh, look, more blame shifting.
Original: Mental health groups have ‘failed to acknowledge’ risk of violence, says Mind chief
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hamlet's Ghost Needs a New Agent.
Original: Andrew Scott Has Waited His Whole Career for a Role Like ‘Elsinore.’ Can Focus and the Bard Anoint Him With an Oscar?
Variety 1h ago
Hollywood’s Excuses: Now in Remastered Color.
Original: Original ‘Practical Magic’ Star Alexandra Artrip Addresses ‘Negativity’ Over Recasting in Sequel: They ‘Did What They Thought Was Best to Be Successful’
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories