Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 PM UTC

Sunday, August 30, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Distraction Works Wonders.
Original: Why Republicans are focusing on transgender issues in competitive 2026 campaigns
PBS NewsHour Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Democracy: It’s Humble When You Lose.
Original: Australia news live: Joyce calls One Nation byelection win ‘decisive’ and ‘humbling’; Oscar Jenkins gives first interview since Russia conviction
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Wall Street Yawns at Doom.
Original: U.S. stock futures flat as chances of rate hike rise after Warsh’s Jackson Hole comments
MarketWatch 1h ago
Philanthropy? Or just lonely?
Original: ‘My main goal is to help people’: I’m single, 74, with $10 million burning a hole in my pocket. What should I do?
MarketWatch 1h ago
Daddy Dollars, Daddy Rules. Shocking.
Original: ‘I feel shoehorned’: My father funded my $800,000 Roth IRA. Does that give him the right to say how I invest it?
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood Needs More Problems.
Original: Sandra Bullock Seemingly Drops Hint That Olivia Rodrigo and Stevie Nicks Have Music in ‘Practical Magic 2’
Variety 4h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories