Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 PM UTC

Saturday, August 29, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Democracy’s a Suggestion Now.
Original: Noncitizen voting claims animate Trump's attacks on midterms and set up potential result challenges
ABC News Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Show Must Go On—Or Not.
Original: ‘New Girl’ Reunion Is Not Happening: ‘There Are No Scripts,’ Says Creator Liz Meriwether
Variety 1h ago
Dogs Can’t Even Save Movies Anymore.
Original: Box Office: ‘The Dog Stars’ Struggles With Just $3 Million on Friday; ‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’ to Win Weekend Again
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories