Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 AM UTC

Friday, August 28, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Lake Says: Enough Souvenirs.
Original: Nepal-Tibet flash flood: helicopter rescue operations suspended as lake overflows; death toll rises to 469 – latest updates
The Guardian World 2h ago
Nepal Floods: God's Got a Waiting List.
Original: ‘So desperately loved’: ADF member among dozens of Australians missing in Nepal floods as families pray for safe return
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Queer BDSM: Now With a Plot.
Original: Cronenberg Meets Activism in Victor Di Marco and Márcio Picoli’s Queer BDSM Drama ‘London’
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories