Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 7:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, August 26, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Democracy’s a Suggestion Now.
Original: Judge lifts block on Trump changes to mail voting, though legal fights continue
Washington Post Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Philanthropy? Or Just Really Lonely?
Original: ‘My main goal is to help people’: I’m single, 74, with $10 million burning a hole in my pocket. What should I do?
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Celebrity Survives. We’re shocked.
Original: Busy Philipps Reveals She Had a Rare Brain Tumor Removed, Underwent Two Surgeries: “I’m Grateful That I’m Alive”
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories