Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, August 25, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Ohio Voters: Still a Puzzle.
Original: Court halts Ohio proof-of-citizenship requirement at motor vehicle offices
Washington Post Politics 1h ago
Justice? She’ll indict your feelings.
Original: Watchdog files bar complaint against Pirro over efforts to indict Democrats for video urging troops to resist illegal orders
PBS NewsHour Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Oil Slick Diplomacy.
Original: Iran, Oman discuss temporary shipping lane through Strait of Hormuz
Al Jazeera 1h ago
Lord Finally Gets His Dolly Back.
Original: Tributes pour in after country music legend Dolly Parton dies aged 80: ‘Thank you, Lord, for Dolly’ – latest updates
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Border Dispute: Guess Who Pays?
Original: U.S.-Canada trade war threatens to worsen inflation for both economies. Neither can afford it.
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Nation Mourns…A Wig.
Original: Trump Orders Flags Flown at Half-Staff for Dolly Parton
Rolling Stone 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories