Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, August 25, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Bless His Heart, He’s Got Options.
Original: ‘My main goal is to help people’: I’m single, 74, with $10 million burning a hole in my pocket. What should I do?
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Dante Would Hate This Inferno.
Original: Patricio Valladares Descends Into Hell With Horror Adaptation of Dante’s ‘Inferno’ (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 2h ago
Royalty and Debt: Now in Korean.
Original: Disney’s Lavish K-Drama ‘The Remarried Empress’ Sets Busan Premiere Ahead of Streaming Launch
Hollywood Reporter 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories