Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, August 25, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Kids Win, Capitalism Yawns.
Original: Woolworths’ Ooshies craze causes Coles sales slump with parents shopping at rival supermarket to collect toys
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories

Optimism Sold Separately.
Original: Projections for all 46 postseason games, including the College Football Playoff
ESPN 3h ago