Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Monday, August 24, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Washington: Where else would they meet?
Original: Hakeem Jeffries meeting with Jared Kushner sparks backlash amongst Democrats ahead of midterm elections – US politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Italy Fines People for Existing.
Original: Distracted Italian pedestrians who cross road while on phone could be fined under new code
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Profits Over Patients: Surprise!
Original: Think Medicare Advantage provides better care for chronic conditions? A new study suggests otherwise.
MarketWatch 1h ago
Friend Fired, Now Praying to COBRA.
Original: ‘She looked into COBRA’: My friend was laid off and lost her health insurance. How can she find affordable coverage?
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories