Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 AM UTC

Monday, August 24, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Taxpayer Funds: Mulligan Time.
Original: Trump is heading to his golf course in Ireland to watch the Irish Open golf tournament next month
ABC News Politics 4h ago
Family Values Meet Gridlock.
Original: Report: Jared Kushner and Democratic leader Jeffries meet with House control at stake in November
PBS NewsHour Politics 14h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories

Football: Still a distraction.
Original: Takeaways from NFL preseason Week 2: Even with win, should Titans be worried about revamped secondary?
ESPN 1h ago
Another Rich Guy Problem.
Original: What does your Premiership club need in final 11 days of transfer window?
BBC Sport 2h ago