Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 PM UTC

Thursday, August 20, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

JPMorgan: Buy Bonds, Then Blame Us.
Original: Treasury’s buyback blitz may end up driving bond yields higher, warns JPMorgan. Here’s its advice for investors.
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Monopoly Just Got a New Name.
Original: Charter Closes $34.5 Billion Cox Deal in Cable Megamerger, Company to Adopt Cox Communications Name
Variety 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories