Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 AM UTC

Sunday, August 16, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tradition? Please Hold.
Original: Democrats approve 2028 primary calendar that puts South Carolina first
Washington Post Politics 10h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Fruitful Diplomacy.
Original: Japan’s defence minister heads to Australia to meet Marles in wake of melon-gate controversy
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Profits Scream.
Original: ‘Monsters, Inc.’ Themed Land Will Open at Disney World in 2027
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories