Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Friday, August 14, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Another Gadget to Gather Dust.
Original: The MSI Claw EX is the most important handheld since Steam Deck — I still wouldn’t buy one
The Verge 2h ago
AI Gets Its Due.
Original: These ‘Masturbation Consultants’ Were Hired to Pleasure Themselves With AI
Wired 2h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Europe: Briefly Less Cozy.
Original: Nineteen people taken to hospital after West Midlands fire, as thousands evacuated in Croatia – Europe live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

AI Can’t Fake a Smile (Yet).
Original: These workers have charisma, confidence — and no fear of AI taking their jobs. They’re the personality hires.
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories