Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 3:00 AM UTC

Friday, July 24, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Trade Wars: Guess Who Pays?
Original: Trump imposes double-digit tariffs on dozens of countries as stopgap 10% levies expire Friday
PBS NewsHour Politics 5h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Hackers Now Have Excuses.
Original: How AI guardrails are impeding the work of offensive cybersecurity researchers
TechCrunch 4h ago
Robotaxis Need a Fall Guy.
Original: Mobileye CEO Amnon Shashua to step aside as company pushes into robotaxis, robotics
TechCrunch 6h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Truth? It’s a liability, apparently.
Original: Australia news live: ABC takes down two Four Corners episodes on drug trade over ‘veracity concerns’; Labor dodges gambling reform fight
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Snake Oil Gets FDA Nod: Surprise!
Original: Most FDA advisers say peptides like BPC-157 and TB-500 should be made available in the U.S. Here’s what happens next.
MarketWatch 5h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Gladys Had a Backstory? Shocking.
Original: Zach Cregger Teases His ‘Weapons’ Prequel and Its “Crazy” Approach to Gladys’ Origin Story
Hollywood Reporter 3h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories