Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 AM UTC

Friday, July 24, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Robotaxis Need a Fall Guy.
Original: Mobileye CEO Amnon Shashua to step aside as company pushes into robotaxis, robotics
TechCrunch 3h ago

World ★ 5 stories

UN: Middle East Escalation—Surprise!
Original: Middle East crisis is ‘getting out of control’, UN chief warns, as US launches another round of strikes on Iran – live updates
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Snake Oil Gets FDA Nod: Surprise!
Original: Most FDA advisers say peptides like BPC-157 and TB-500 should be made available in the U.S. Here’s what happens next.
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Exploitation Now in 4D.
Original: ‘Toy Story 5’ Has Given Away 18,000 Woodys* to Sick Kids
Hollywood Reporter 2h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories