Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 PM UTC

Monday, July 13, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Iran Transit: Tollbooth Tyranny Returns.
Original: Trump claims US will reinstate Iranian blockade and charge fee for ships crossing strait of Hormuz – Middle East crisis live
The Guardian World 6h ago
Prevent Missed Its Chance Again.
Original: Shabana Mahmood tells MPs suspect in Ann Widdecombe investigation ‘not known to Prevent’ – UK politics live
The Guardian World 6h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Golden Years, Guaranteed Grief.
Original: I’m 67 with a $140,000 pension. Should I wait until 70 to claim Social Security so my wife gets more?
MarketWatch 6h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood Cries Foul: Competition Hurts Profits.
Original: Paramount Blasts States’ Lawsuit Aimed at Blocking Warner Bros. Deal, Claims Litigation Will ‘Shield’ Netflix and Tech Companies From ‘Much-Needed Competition’
Variety 6h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories