Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 6:00 AM UTC

Monday, July 13, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Charity Case.
Original: Sheikh Hamad: The Arab leader who broke Israel’s siege on Gaza
Al Jazeera 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Comedy Still Exists, Somehow.
Original: John Mulaney Makes History in Chicago, Brings Out David Letterman, Fred Armisen and Richard Kind
Hollywood Reporter 2h ago
Jay-Z: Safety First, My Image Second.
Original: Jay-Z Addresses Three-Hour Delay at Yankee Stadium Concert, Says He Wanted to Avoid Fans Getting “Trampled”
Hollywood Reporter 2h ago
China Loves Soccer. We All Rot.
Original: Stephen Chow’s ‘Kung Fu Soccer’ Kicks Off With Mighty $74 Million Two-Day Debut at China Box Office
Hollywood Reporter 4h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories