Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 AM UTC

Sunday, July 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Justice: A Proud Boys souvenir.
Original: Judge tosses remnants of Proud Boys seditious conspiracy case after Trump's broad clemency
PBS NewsHour Politics 14h ago
Secrets Fly, Journalists Grounded.
Original: New York Times reporters are subpoenaed after Air Force One stories, raising press freedom concerns
PBS NewsHour Politics 17h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Monopoly Just Got Greasier.
Original: Oregon’s Attorney General withdraws effort to delay Paramount and Warner Bros. merger
The Verge 16h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Reality Stars Harbor Grudges: Shocking.
Original: ‘Love Island USA’ Contestant Corbin on His ‘Humiliating’ Elimination, the Nickname ‘CorbinGPT’ and His Friendship With Sincere: ‘I Forgive But I Don’t Forget’
Variety 9h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories