Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 9:00 PM UTC

Saturday, July 11, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Free Press? Just Sign Here.
Original: Justice Department subpoenas New York Times reporters over Air Force One reporting
NPR Politics 5h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Monopoly Just Got Greedier.
Original: Oregon’s Attorney General withdraws effort to delay Paramount and Warner Bros. merger
The Verge 3h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Bonfire Spirit: Now Ex.
Original: Man dies after falling from Eleventh Night bonfire in east Belfast
The Guardian World 1h ago
Australia: Despair is Good Business.
Original: One Nation is capitalising on Australians’ economic pessimism like never before. Is a ‘stagflation impulse’ to blame?
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Greed Gets a New Pitch.
Original: MLB Owners Want A Shorter Amateur Draft And To Add An International Draft
Forbes Business 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories