Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 7:00 PM UTC

Friday, July 3, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Monumental ego trip, anyone?
Original: Trump heads to Mount Rushmore as America 250 celebrations ramp up amid extreme heat
PBS NewsHour Politics 6h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Retirement? Just keep working.
Original: Before you max out your 401(k) this year, consider a much better use for your next paycheck
MarketWatch 3h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories