Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 PM UTC

Thursday, July 2, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Apology Won’t Unadopt Anyone.
Original: ‘Stain on our history’: Starmer issues government apology over forced adoption scandal – UK politics live
The Guardian World 3h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Escape Tokyo, Still Broke.
Original: I’m a 35-year-old American living in Japan. How can I build long-term wealth without a 401(k) or Roth IRA?
MarketWatch 3h ago
Greed is Nvidia’s best analyst.
Original: This fund manager bought Nvidia and SK Hynix and sold software before others. His simple message on AI: ‘Follow the money.’
MarketWatch 3h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Monopoly Gets a Little Less Fun.
Original: French Pay-TV Giant Canal+ Ceases Distribution of Some TF1 Group Channels in France, Switzerland and Africa
Variety 3h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories