Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, July 1, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Labels for Everyone!
Original: Trump's actions signal a move toward institutionalizing people with disabilities, advocates warn
PBS NewsHour Politics 3h ago
Secrets Want Secrets.
Original: Ex-CIA Director John Brennan sues the Trump administration, demanding it preserve records of investigations into him
PBS NewsHour Politics 4h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Warmth? He’s seen enough.
Original: Aunt of Venezuelan boy pulled from rubble tells BBC she will give him 'mother's warmth'
BBC World 3h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Kids Are Futures, Apparently.
Original: Where can I invest my kid’s ‘Trump account’ money? The Treasury Department just answered that question.
MarketWatch 3h ago
Memory fades. So do profits.
Original: Sandisk’s and Micron’s stocks sink as the rotation trade builds, but supply shortages should limit losses
MarketWatch 3h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories