Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 AM UTC

Wednesday, July 1, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Fresh Face, Same System.
Original: Democratic socialist Melat Kiros poised to become the first Gen Z woman in Congress
NPR Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Legacy Code Exits.
Original: The “Father of the Internet” is finally retiring
TechCrunch 4h ago
AI Just Got More Trumpy.
Original: Trump drops restrictions on Anthropic’s Mythos and Fable models
TechCrunch 5h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Griffin’s Outrage: A Performance Review.
Original: Kathy Griffin Claims She Was ‘Banned’ From ‘The Tonight Show’ for Being ‘Too Controversial’ and Slams Jimmy Fallon for Hosting Conor McGregor
Variety 4h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories