Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Science: Still Trying.
Original: June research roundup: 6 cool science stories we almost missed
Ars Technica 4h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Still Born Ideas.
Original: Trump threatens to abolish birthright citizenship through Congress after supreme court rules against him – live
The Guardian World 4h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Peak Performance: Now With Extra Debt.
Original: If LeBron James goes to the Warriors, that team’s roster will be stacked with some of the most expensive players in NBA history
MarketWatch 4h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Musclebound Silence Now a National Crisis.
Original: Dwayne Johnson Slammed as a ‘Coward’ for Staying Quiet on Politics; ‘Star Trek’ Icon George Takei Fires Back: ‘Silence Is Complicity’
Variety 4h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories