Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 PM UTC

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Congress Missed Him Too?
Original: WATCH: Rep. Tom Kean Jr. says he was recovering from depression during months-long absence from Congress
PBS NewsHour Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Empire Needs More Money. Surprise.
Original: Next chancellor will have to find £5bn to fund black hole in defence funding, government figures reveal – UK politics live
The Guardian World 3h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Money Printers Go Brrr Again.
Original: Sandisk’s stock could follow record-breaking quarter with another big jump, analysts say
MarketWatch 3h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Escape Reality. Pay $30.
Original: Northwoods Opens Luxury Emagine Parker Theater in Denver Area – Film News in Brief
Variety 3h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories