Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 AM UTC

Friday, June 26, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Diversity: A Legal Obstacle.
Original: Judge rules against effort to create majority-Black DeSoto County districts
ABC News Politics 12h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Joyful Chaos and Fossil Fuel Dreams.
Original: Australia news live: Socceroos fans celebrate at city sites; legal challenge to NT fracking project dismissed by federal court
The Guardian World 4h ago
Politics: A Playground For Feelings.
Original: Matthew Guy demands Moira Deeming apologise for assault claim after Victoria police find ‘no offence detected’
The Guardian World 4h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Fortunes Die Friday.
Original: The Wall Street equivalent of roster-cut day happens Friday. It’ll be one of the biggest volume days of the year.
MarketWatch 4h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories