Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 3:00 PM UTC

Thursday, June 18, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

High Times, Low Standards.
Original: Government can’t restrict gun ownership over habitual weed use, Supreme Court rules
Washington Post Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Kids Paid Off, Now It’s My Turn.
Original: My husband died when I was 38, leaving me with four kids who each received Social Security. I’m now 60. When do I claim?
MarketWatch 3h ago
Paper Hands Meet Server Farm.
Original: A billion-dollar server company just lost more than 40% of its value following a short-seller report
MarketWatch 3h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hollywood's Desperate Need for Fish.
Original: Ansel Elgort, Halle Bailey, Ludacris and Alan Ritchson Among Voice Cast for Animated Movie ‘Groove Tails’ (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 3h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories